Thursday, September 24, 2009
ME
It started off as a dream at the age of 16. A calling, I should say. To him. I didn't ignore it. I did everything in my power to soak it in. And it did.
But not for long.
Senior Year: Football, Pride, Glory: And a very confused state of mind. This was where I was. I met an amazing man. Someone who i cared about deeply. James Schiager. The things he did for me as a football player, and as a man of God, were Phenomenal. He showed me that I could do what I loved, and still live under the glory of God. That's what I wanted more then anything. Until it happened.
Wrestling season. 3 hours into a tournament, I receive the phone call. tears, run hard down my face. weighing my body down and bringing me closer to the earth. how? why would you let this happen? someone so Godly, someone so perfect. Gone. How could you?
O Well.
My life begins to spiral downward.
Pop open the can and let the soberness cease to exist.
Let every hit sooth my lungs and have laughter take over my emptiness.
This was what I shoved into that hole that was taken out of my heart.
I filled it with every dub, and every fifth.
Bag after Bag.
Bottle after Bottle.
Over time, that hole begin to grow wider. Emptier then ever before, I fill it with more herb and liquids. I add another spice.
mmmm a crazy frenzy spins my mind.
the constant rave is adapted to my mind.
Graduation: HIGH
That Next Summer: I don't care what happens. I'm living life, how ever I want to.
Wrong.
Blue and Red Flashing Lights. My Contaminated heart drops to the ground.
Is this happening? this is it.
A searched car isn't so bad. well, unless there is a very interesting glass vase looking thing, a bag of oregano, and 100 dollars worth of pure sugar in the back seat of it.
There I was, Jordan Cruz. Well, whoever that was. Metal stopping blood flow in the wrist. hard plastic seats. and no handle to get out. Only to get in.
2 felonies? 30 years?
"Lord, I pray, that if what you want me to do is live in your name, live a life glorifying you and spreading your word to others. then you will get me out of this situation."
Here, I am. Jordan Cruz. Blessed, by the grace of our almighty God. I am free, because of him.
I am forever thankful.
Because of Him
And for ever I will serve him.
Amen
But not for long.
Senior Year: Football, Pride, Glory: And a very confused state of mind. This was where I was. I met an amazing man. Someone who i cared about deeply. James Schiager. The things he did for me as a football player, and as a man of God, were Phenomenal. He showed me that I could do what I loved, and still live under the glory of God. That's what I wanted more then anything. Until it happened.
Wrestling season. 3 hours into a tournament, I receive the phone call. tears, run hard down my face. weighing my body down and bringing me closer to the earth. how? why would you let this happen? someone so Godly, someone so perfect. Gone. How could you?
O Well.
My life begins to spiral downward.
Pop open the can and let the soberness cease to exist.
Let every hit sooth my lungs and have laughter take over my emptiness.
This was what I shoved into that hole that was taken out of my heart.
I filled it with every dub, and every fifth.
Bag after Bag.
Bottle after Bottle.
Over time, that hole begin to grow wider. Emptier then ever before, I fill it with more herb and liquids. I add another spice.
mmmm a crazy frenzy spins my mind.
the constant rave is adapted to my mind.
Graduation: HIGH
That Next Summer: I don't care what happens. I'm living life, how ever I want to.
Wrong.
Blue and Red Flashing Lights. My Contaminated heart drops to the ground.
Is this happening? this is it.
A searched car isn't so bad. well, unless there is a very interesting glass vase looking thing, a bag of oregano, and 100 dollars worth of pure sugar in the back seat of it.
There I was, Jordan Cruz. Well, whoever that was. Metal stopping blood flow in the wrist. hard plastic seats. and no handle to get out. Only to get in.
2 felonies? 30 years?
"Lord, I pray, that if what you want me to do is live in your name, live a life glorifying you and spreading your word to others. then you will get me out of this situation."
Here, I am. Jordan Cruz. Blessed, by the grace of our almighty God. I am free, because of him.
I am forever thankful.
Because of Him
And for ever I will serve him.
Amen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)